Kesher Oak - Hadassah →

I recently had the opportunity to bring a group of young (in their 30s, 40s and 50s) Jewish women together to form a new chapter of Hadassah, a philanthropy organization raising money for advocacy, healthcare and Jewish youth in Israel.

At our chartering ceremony, we were very fortunate to have Hadassah’s outgoing CEO, Janice Weinman speak about the importance of philanthropy both in her life and career. After her inspiring speech, I began our philanthropic work with the following words:

“Wow. We did it! This feels like the moment in Formula 1 where they spray champagne on all the spectators!

I am completely overwhelmed by all of the stories of the incredible women on this zoom today. I have to tell you that I have met the most wonderful people on this journey - in addition to strengthening and deepening friendships that began with the simple circumstance of my children going to a particular Jewish preschool. As Jessica mentioned earlier, this journey began stuck in the mud on a giant bus loaded with Jewish ladies outside the Meir Shfeya youth village in Israel. As you can imagine, there were squeals, peels of laughter and a lot of opinions about how we should proceed. I am confident this will be the continuing vibe of my Hadassah journey and I am very excited about it.

I returned from my Momentum and Hadassah-sponsored trip to Israel very inspired by the work of Hadassah and in particular, the story of our founder, Henrietta Szold. The story of a woman recognizing a problem and shaping an organization that conquered that particular problem and continues to grow and lead in so many avenues including advocacy, medicine and at-risk youth in a country that welcomes all Jews and where my kids and all people can be outwardly and unapologetically Jewish is a powerful story.

Henrietta Szold started this organization by going into living rooms of women and passing a tzedakah box - and look at us now in this moment - sitting in our houses, gathering in front of our computers and tablets to continue this work of fellowship, community and tzedakah.

All of this takes time. I realized in the pandemic, one of the most precious things one can give an organization or each other - is the gift of their time. The pandemic reignited the national conversation around how women use their time and the ludicrous gender inequalities in what is called invisible work. And the people that suffer most because of these antiquated systems are the women themselves, resulting in burn-out and no time for self-care and development. For me, Hadassah has become a place in which I calendar time to see my friends, to develop my leadership skills and to further define why I believe in the concept of Israel and can advocate for the work of Hadassah.

Connecting with each other and networking is the way we grow our Kesher Oak community in this way, we’re recharging ourselves in order to achieve our own goals - including the continuance of philanthropy work and being of service to our community. It also makes me feel good to be able to model this behavior for my daughter (and my son. When you have twins, you can’t just name one without the other. They get offended.)

I interviewed some of our members and their mothers for a video I was hoping to include in today’s chartering. The video was a victim of my lack of time in the past six weeks and I will finish it this summer when my kids go to camp, but in the meantime, the themes that presented themselves in these interviews were extremely powerful and prescient. These women, side by side with their daughters speaking of memories of friendship, community building. Not just memories but their best memories - of lifelong friendships and working together to raise money for an organization they wholeheartedly believe in while strengthening their Jewish communities and identities. It’s a gift and a legacy they were overwhelmed by and eager to gift to their daughters.

These interviews made me emotional, as I am today in front of you all witnessing the creation of a new link in a long chain and legacy of Jewish women supporting other women, equity and social justice.

I’d like to thank you all for your time - for all the time you’ve given to this organization and for your time today. It’s important to recognize that your time is precious and your choice of being here today in support of Hadassah and our new chapter is such a gift. Thank you for the support!”

Sandra Caplan Community Bet Din

Just hopped off a zoom meeting with the fundraising committee for the Sandra Caplan Community Bet Din in LA. As a Jew by Choice, I am passionate about their mission of open-information around conversion to Judaism. From their website: “The Sandra Caplan Community Bet Din of Southern California was founded in 2002 on the premise that conversion to Judaism can and ought to be an experience that transcends denominations. The organization adheres to standards that have been endorsed by the Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist and transdenominational movements. It is directed by a professional rabbinate that guides and welcomes conversion candidates with sensitivity and gentleness.”

I’m excited to help them produce meaningful and joyful fundraising and donor events as well as publish their informational content online, so that they can become a go-to source for American Jewish conversion.

Check out their website: https://scbetdin.com

Tsfat Mishpacha

Tsfat Mishpacha 

Today the sun rose on the Kineret (the Sea of Galilee in English) and off we drove to Tsfat, which is my favorite day on a grand tour of Israel,  Tsfat is one of the four holy cities of Israel. I already knew this but was reminded by our tour guide Shuli en route, after she recounted the story of Doña Garcia Nasi, a formidable 16th-century secretly-Jewish Spanish businesswoman who became an important figure in the Ottoman Empire and tried to found a Jewish National state after purchasing Tiberius 300 years before the official founding of the State of Israel.  She is yet another female badass history has hidden until recently. The women of Momentum poured into Tsfat and were welcomed in abundance.

It’s a distinct and particular pleasure if you manage to be fleetingly alone on a trip with 200 people.  After an intriguing tour of Tsfat’s Mikveh, we the 200 ambled through the complex labyrinth of cobblestone paths,  chancing upon mystical art galleries, complex candle sculptures, ornate and hidden synagogues, tchotchkes and the wonderful warm people of Tsfat.

Our morning began with a talk on Peace and Wholeness in the home or Shalom Bayit.  We in the Bay Area also know this as a fantastic, local non-profit “fostering the social change and community response necessary to eradicate domestic violence in the Jewish community” (www.shalom-bayit.org).  I am always made a little uncomfortable when one assigns and utilizes traditional gender roles, attempting to place you and your loved ones in a categorized box - this particular system derived from the Torah (search for 10 Powers of the Soul by Rabbi Yoel Lock).  However, it's always important to acknowledge that the ones you love do not move through life the way you do and if you continually assume so, finding meaningful ways to love and support them will be much more difficult.  

The greater concept of the day was family.  We encountered in in the extraordinary tour of the Mikveh, presented to us by the powerful later-in-life (19) convert to Orthodoxy, mother-of-8 Latin-American feminist (though she eschewed the word).  Most of our group didn’t know anything about the Mikveh. I felt extraordinarily lucky in-the-moment to have had a very emotional experience in one during my conversion to Judaism 5 years ago. The facility was spectacular and handicapped-acccessible but the real showstopper was Nathalie, who managed to take a very foreign ancient practice and humanize the modern woman within it while using it as a moment of empowerment.  (www.aguafrescaparaelalma.com)

The day continued in two really uniquely mine solo moments (after a group dash to Lehuhe Original - Yemenite food bar - NOT TO BE MISSED - CHECK OUT THIS YEMINITE PIZZA…)

The first moment was an innocent ramble into a shop in search of a Havdalah set resulting in a 45 minute intimate conversation with a mother of two former New Yorker who loved Broadway.  She was very excited that I used to be part of that community. We bonded over our childrens’ love of Peppa Pig, the importance of traveling and communing with women, my conversion and re-discovery of my artistic self on the eve of turning 40, her visiting Rabbi Nachman’s grave in Ukraine, singing the crossing the bridge song we learned on the bus yesterday based on his quote about courage.  The encounter ended with tears, hugs, Facebook friendship and the offer of a 10% discount. Don’t tell my husband I politely declined it. She realized immediately I was a convert.

The other was a lovely mini Kabbalist art lesson with David Friedman.  I was introduced to David’s work two years ago when my husband and I visited Tsfat while taking part in a program called Honeymoon Israel.  The trips’ itineraries are actually very similar with different lectures and programming hoping to result in a similar lifelong connection with Israel and establishment and growth of a personal Jewish community back home.  I actually ran into two HMI groups outside of David’s studios and encouraged the “kids” from Chicago and LA to enjoy life before parenthood.  

I happened to be one of only two visitors in the gallery at that particular moment and I asked David what he was working on.  He pulled out his latest series inspired by black holes and the number 11. He walked me through all the numerology. My mind was blown all over again as it was two years previously and I truly felt part of this unique community, this Mishpacha.  

Photo credit: Wendy Greenberg

Tory Ross Roman

Hadassah San Francisco

Tory Ross Roman is a former Broadway, TV and film actress, current full-time Mom of 4-year-old twins, and a part-time educator and philanthropic volunteer. Check her out on IG (@torytore) or at her website: ToryRossRoman.com

The ME in Momentum

Our story begins with 14 hours on a plane from SFO to TLV without any children. No four year old sticky hands all over my body… and with nothing to worry about but myself (and my pregnant roommate, who is MUCH more capable than me). 

As a lucky recipient of a highly-subsidized 10-day spiritual reawakening - returning to our Jewish “home,” of Israel, Momentum offers this thought at the outset - 

“If I am not for myself, who will be for me?”  

As I wandered through my first day here in Israel, I kept repeating this Hillel quote in my mind while hearing countless stories from all sorts of women who feel stuck, who are searching, who are in search of a reinvention and a renaissance.  The thought is that we will tour Israel and lean into Jewish ethics, bring them home and use this momentum (see what I did there?) to change our communities and onwards and upwards. The world was mentioned, but my British Imperialistic upbringing makes me uncomfortable stating it.  It’s an intriguing idea and Momentum has now guided 18,000 of these journeys.

This trip is geared towards Jewish moms who have children at home under the age of 18.  The ages of the women and their children vary - as well as where they come from. On our two buses today, we had women from LA, San Antonio, Florida, Orange County and even Israel.  We will share these bus rides, discuss and un-stick ourselves from the mud. LITERALLY.  

Our day started stuck in the mud at Hadassah’s Meir Shfeyah Youth Village.  Founded in 1883, Baron Rothschild purchased an abandoned Arab village and established several agriculture settlements there.  In 1925, he gifted the land to Hadassah’s beloved founder Henrietta Szold who had been bringing children over from the Russian progroms and Nazi Germany.  Henrietta Szold was a badass. I read her bio (one of several terribly written options) after being selected for the trip as my trip is co-sponsored by Hadassah.  In addition to these amazing youth villages which have now served tens of thousands of children in need, she also established the first American night school providing language and skill services to Russian Jews in Baltimore, single handedly (at first) trained nurses in then-Palestine to combat eye diseases and eventually founded Hadassah, visiting and organizing Jewish women in America to fund hospitals, soup kitchens and services to both Jewish and Arab pre-state Palestinians.  Again I say, Henrietta Szold is a badass hero.

There aren’t proper words to describe strolling the village, hearing about the 600 students learning agricultural farming, wine-making and studying in a united-nations like diverse population.  They offered persimmons from the property, we tasted the wine (excellent! 3.7 rating!) and we heard from the students.  

It’s an incredible microcosm of good, proving that it’s possible to take people from hideous circumstances, have faith in them and watch them succeed, side-by-side with what the world would call their natural enemies.  Here is a sound-clip from the schools’ most recent arrivals, many of whom still hadn’t learned Hebrew, interacting instead with music:

Can you even believe how good that is?!  I’m a professional musician and I was taken aback.

Biblical rain followed.  Seemed appropriate. There is so much Torah in the scenery here.  As the clouds and thunder rolled in and out of our day, it was easy to imagine these stories we hear on Shabbats year after year.  It seemed the burning bush could be around every corner.

Our day concluded with welcome remarks by our Momentum Trip Leader Nili Cousins followed by a racaus dance party with maracas, leis and Israeli flags.  Nili focused on taking every opportunity here to promote self-wellness and recharge our batteries. There are so many different women here with different needs, it will be interesting to see if there are trends in the specific groups’ attempt at paradymical change.  Or maybe we will just go out, have a bit of quiet for self reflection and a whole lot of fun.

Meanwhile back at home - my twins are tracking us on a map at their Jewish preschool, Gan Avraham at Temple Beth Abraham in Oakland. I miss them like crazy, but I will be a better human when I return from this trip simply from experiencing this for myself. And I can only be for others when I am for myself.

-Tory Ross Roman is a former Broadway, TV and film actress, current full-time Mom of 4 year old twins and a part-time educator and philanthropic volunteer.  Check her out on IG (@torytore) or at her website: ToryRossRoman.com